Persuasion

As it turned out, when Sid told me when his flight was gonna be in, he gave me eastern time, not central. So, when he called me and told me he was at my front door, I was still at Borders drinking my coffee. I told him to wait for me while I drive home. Twenty minutes later, I got home, and spent all of thirty seconds in my apartment before it was decided that dinner was in order.

I gotta hand it to the guy, I made it halfway through my chicken nachos before Sid asked me if I was sure I didn't want to go with him. I was sure. His big persuasive arguement? "Aw, c'mon!"

I laid all my cards on the table, telling him every reservation I have over the whole thing, and he matched me, point by point.

ME: Those people were the whole reason I left that God-forsaken town.
SID: It was ten years ago.
ME: Yes, and aside from Nicky, does anyone else even want me to be there?
SID: I'm sure that they do.
ME: Do any of them know if I'm coming?
SID: Yes, I believe they do...I mean, I'm pretty sure.
ME: I just don't think anything has changed between me and them.
SID: Look, I got it just as bad as you did back then, and I still want to go.
ME: I still think this is a bad idea.
SID: Prove me wrong.
ME: I gotta work.
SID: So, ask your boss for the rest of the week off.

This went on for fifteen minutes before we hit an uncomfortable silence. It was at this moment that I gave him a hypothetical: If I were able to get the next two days off, and I were to go along with you on this, what kind of guarantees do I have?

Sid accused me of extortion, I told him that if he was really wanting me to do something I really didn't want to do, that there would be a few things I would need to have happen, or else he should just drop it completely. He humored me.

1) He should pay for hotel. He's already getting a hotel room for himself, why not upgrade to a suite?
2) He should pay for meals. I told him I eat light.
3) He should pay for drinks. If things go as smoothly as he's thinking it will, I won't be needing very much alcohol to get myself through it.
4) Escape plan: The first sign of any serious trouble, we get the hell out of town.
5) I reserve the right to change the rules if the situation demands it.

After a long moment of consideration, he told me he'd consider everything except the last one. Then he turned the tables. If this deal was to even be considered, I'd have to call my boss and ask about time off.

It was a long shot, but I called my boss' cell phone. I told him I had something come up, and asked him if he really needed me the next couple days. He told me that we'd take a look at the workload in the morning. Sid was watching me talk on the phone, so I made the news look really bad so as not to give him a ray of hope. I told him the answer was a definite maybe.

After getting off the phone, we headed back to my place. Sid surveyed my DVD collection and has been watching a movie while I update the blog. There's a 90% chance I'll have to go through with this, and all because I tried to bluff.

Back in the saddle

Things were a little slow at work, so my boss let me takee a long lunch. I grabbed some Quizno's, then walked down the block to the bookstore. There were a few books that I was looking for, books I used to own, but lost them in the breakup property dispute.

There was this ultra-nice brunette who worked there, and she was helping me track down these books. By the time we were about halfway down my list, she was totally flirting with me. The more frightening part was, I was flirting back.

It turns out that one of the books I was looking for was out of print, but she was kind enough to try to find a copy online and special order it for me. I don't care if she works on commission, I left that store feeling like a king.

I came home tonight after dinner to find Cody waiting for me on the doorstep. I completely forgot to pick up some more cat food for him. Fortunately, I had some chicken fajitas left over in a doggie bag (ha!), so a couple strips of lime chicken and that cat was in heaven.

In a rare event, I called Sid (he usually calls me first), gave him directions to my place, and found out what time his flight should be in. Which reminds me, I need to clean up this place...or I could just leave it a pig sty and just have my friend deal with it. Quite the quandary...

Cody

I got off work a little early and went for a run along the river. When I got back to my place, the kitty was back again. Every night now, seven p.m.; you could set your watch to this cat. I guess he's mine now. I have named him Cody, short for co-dependant.

It's kinda nice having something to take care of. It helps take my mind off of some of my own needs and wants and gotta-haves. Although, I feel kinda guilty that I can't afford to take Cody to the vet anytime soon.

With all the hoopla of moving into my new place, I took it upon myself to make a few phone calls, giving people an update. I called my brother, some old friends, and my grandmother. She was the one I was dreading. She never liked my ex, and she objected to the idea of us "living in sin". She barely hesitated to say "I told you so". I just sat back and took my mild abuse, knowing full well that I could end it simply by asking about my uncle, who just married his sixth wife, and this one's a Protestant. If the subject ever comes up, you could hear her eyes roll over the phone.

While I talk to my Grammy, tha Call Waiting beeps three times. One unknown, one Sid, the other Nicky. I won't be returning the calls tonight.

So now, I pop in a DVD, plop down on the couch and hang out with Cody until it's time to let him outside for the night.

Looks like company's coming.

I was in the middle of my Sunday night marathon of Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad, when Sid called me...again.

He was just looking online, and determined it would be a lot cheaper for him for fly to Tulsa, rent a car and drive to Fort Smith for next weekend rather than fly in direct. He's booked his flight for Wednesday night, and has asked if he could stay at my place that night, and drive down on Thursday. I hadn't seen him in almost two years, so at the very least, I'll get a reunion I actually would like to be a part of.

Plus, he's flying back out of Tulsa on Monday, so we'll shoot for lunch before he heads back.

Other than that not much going on.

Callbacks

Now it's for sure: Nicky and Sid are tag-teaming in trying to talk me into going. I've talked to Sid every few days for years, but I haven't heard from Nicky in nine years, and all of a sudden I talk to him five times in three days.

It's been nice hearing from Nicky, though. Back in high school, he was such a little neurotic. Just from the sound of his voice, he sounds like he's done so much better for himself. I mean, high school can be hell for anyone, but it must've been double so for Nicky. He was gay. So gay, in fact, that it was impossible to hide...He practically had rainbow colored fireworks shooting off behind him all the time. And this was Small Town, Southern State, USA. I can only imagine how hard it was for him. None of us in "the group" cared. In a lot of ways, we were the only ones to which he could be himself, although we did kinda tease him when he'd try to butch it up. Nothing really cruel, just a who're-you-kidding kinda thing.

His twin sister Clara was the complete opposite; a tomboy, even. Some even went so far as to accuse her of being a lesbian, but only got so far as to call her a "DY-" before she would start beating them senseless. But according to Nicky, she's not gay. Turns out, she's just a bitch.

As I said, it's been nice catching up with Nicky. I might consider going back home if it was just to visit with him. Unfortuanately, this whole thing is a package deal. Sure, There's Sid and Nicky, but there's also Clara, Sam, Jeff...and Grace. I don't know if Nicky managed to track down Alex, who had to go back to Ireland rather abruptly halfway through the school year, and no one's heard from him sense. Clara, I could completely do without. She was the one that organized the whole screw-you on graduation day. Sam, I could give a rat's ass about. He rode the fence throughout the whole mess and waited to see who came out on top, the spineless bastard.

I might even go back for Grace, but if I ever see her again it'll probably be with my tail between my legs. I really screwed up big time with her, and I've regretted it ever since. I probably would've been okay if it weren't for Clara. She took a simple misunderstanding and blew it way out of proportion, effectively ruining any chance I had with Grace.

Then, there's Jeff. I can't remember if he was involved in this little reunion pact or not. I'm pretty sure he wasn't. He was always too stuck up to be a part of anything so sentimental. I remember he used to egg me on every day, trying to get a rise out of me. He succeeded several times, and I always mananged to put him in his place...at the cost of making myself look like the bad guy.

This is what turned Grace away from me, and everyone else against me. Jeff started beating up on Nicky one time. I pulled Jeff away and started beating the crap out of him. That's when everyone else showed up. Sid tried to break it up, but I pushed him aside and focused right back on Jeff. I though I saw Sid coming back, so I pushed him down, hard. As it turns out, it was Grace the second time. Clara saw this and went ballistic. I had just knocked Jeff out when Clara jumped on me, pulling out a large clump of my hair and scalp. I got her off of me, and I found myself in a true lose-lose situation: do I walk away a coward, or do I fight and be the biggest asshole in the world for fighting a girl?

Clara lunged at me, and I put my arms up to defend myself. I remember her face running right into my elbow as I pushed her aside. it was at that moment, I saw Grace sitting on the ground, looking up at me. She scuttled backwards, trying to get away from me and stand up at the same time. I ran after her, trying to explain myself. When she got into her car, I in front of her car to keep her from driving off. She put it in reverse and drove onto the curb and away from me.

For the rest of the school year, the only words she ever spoke to me were scripted lines from drama class. This was particularly hard, because it meant she even refused to do any improvisation with me, which she and I both were REALLY good at.

I stayed a ghost the rest of the year, speaking only to Sid and Nicky...Everyone else formed the "No Declans Club". Clara tried to file assault charges against me, as did Jeff, but neither could prove that I wasn't defending myself or Nicky. Sam decided that there more people on their side than mine, so that's that. Grace took pity on Jeff, and by the end of the school year, they were a couple.

After graduation...before the caps were thrown into the air...I made a beeline for my car and went home. No graduation parties, no celebration, nothing. I enrolled in summer courses rather than wait until fall, so within two weeks, I had left town for college, not letting anyone from the group know I was gone.

Sid managed to track me down about a year later, and we've been in contact ever since. We've never reall spoken about the falling out until now. It's just good to know that no matter what, He's got my back.

Maybe I should explain...

I just realized that I just rambled on rather vaguely as to why I don't want to go.

Ten years ago, I was just starting my senior year. Me and my friends were all coffee house poseurs. We'd all stay up late, drinking coffee at Denny's or Shoney's or Village Inn...whatever was open and willing to put up with our crap. We would read Kerouac and Ginsberg as if we actually knew what the hell they meant. We'd smoke clove cigarettes...or should I say, we shared a pack of clove cigarettes because we couldn't afford them on our own. We'd wear dark clothing, and listen to way too much Smashing Pumpkins

But by the start of senior year, things were starting to change for us. The whole non-conformist thing was getting a bit old. So, we trashed the black and started wearing colors. The clove cigarettes switched to much-cheaper generic lights, and we started to integrate into society.

So, a couple weeks after school started, it was Labor Day weekend. We were all becoming aware of how we were all changing, so this was gonna be our last big hoorah, or perhaps ho-hum, of our dark, misunderstood youth. Sunday night, we all met up at the lake. Our buddy Sam scored some pot off of his cousin, and we all got high (sorta, it was weak shit), and started talking about the future...again, like we knew what it meant.

In our weak buzz, we made this pact to meet up ten years later and read the lists of everything we wanted to accomplish in the next ten years. Whatever.

Later that year, we all had a huge falling out. Long story short, everyone except Sid told me to go to Hell on graduation day. Screw them.

Blast from the past

I've been waiting two days to hear back from Sid, but it turns out he didn't need to call me back. I ended up getting a call from my old pal Nicky, whom I hadn't spoken to in about nine years. I figured this would have something to do with the ten-year reunion next summer, but it didn't.

As soon as he asked me if I remembered the lists we all wrote out ten years ago, I knew exactly why he was calling. Ten years ago, the beginning of senior year, a bunch of us wrote up lists of everything we wanted to accomplish before...well, what would be this next weekend, Labor Day, 2005.

The plan was for all of us to meet back up and go over our lists, to see how what we've done with our lives. I really don't think it's a good idea to do it, and I didn't need to tell Nicky why. You see, all of us that did this, made this pact when we were best friends, which we weren't by the time graduation came around.

Nicky kept reminding me that it was ten years ago, which I knew...that it was all in the past, which I agreed...and that everyone's looking forward to seeing me there (apparently I was the last holdout), which I doubted. I told him I'd have to think about, which I won't.

As soon as I got off the phone with Nicky, I called the sneaky bastard-I mean, Sid-for a little bitch session about this. He, of all people, should understand why I don't want to go. He told me that it's been ten years, and that I should let it go, sounding like he and Nicky were practicing this little ambush.

I've thought about it, and I'm not going. That's it.

Cryptic Messages

I had to work late tonight, so I didn't hear my phone when Sid called me again. He left this short, cryptic message about me needing to keep Labor day weekend open. I tried calling him back, but there was no answer. In case I hadn't mentioned it before, I freakin' hate leaving messages.

The really weird thing about his voicemail was that he had this whole "you know what I'm talking about" kinda tone. And then, he won't bother answering his phone when I call him back. I even made sure to call him before nine (ten for him, since he's in New Jersey nowadays.)

In other news, I got woken up really early this morning by a cat meowing just outside my door. I opened the door and this skinny orange cat just lept up onto my chest and dug it's claws deep into my flesh. It didn't know whether to try to calm it down or drop kick the thing. I just let it wander around my apartment while I get ready for work. When I went down to the QuikTrip for my morning coffee, I picked up some fancy feast for the kitty. I made sure to feed it outside, just in case the landlord starts snooping around.

I'm thinking a sick day may be in order tomorrow, if I feel like it in the morning. A Thursday would be a lot more inconspicuous than taking a Friday off, don't you think?

Now, the truth comes out...

I got a call from my old friend Sid, whom I've forgotten to call and tell the new news. He said he pretty much got the whole story from my ex's outgoing voicemail message. We had a nice long chat, wherein he told me just why he never liked her. It was tricky timing, because Half of me is unsure what to think about it all, while the other half is agreeing with him completely.

I'm still pretty numb, so the conversation was pretty much one sided. Sid's lack of tact is an acquired taste, and having known him for over twenty years, I'm pretty much immune. I don't let it bother me.

I realized that I've been drinking quite uncharacteristically in the past eight days. Every night, I've gotten at least a bit buzzed during and after dinner. Tonight, I detox. I made myself a nice salad, took a nice long shower and was gonna wtch a movie when Sid called. At least in talking to him, I was able to cleanse myself of a few of the reasons I think I've been drinking so much lately.

In other news, I have only three more boxes left to unpack, full of all my books. However, I'll need to wait for payday so that I can go to to Home Depot and buy some bookshelves.

A fresh week

After staying up all last night unpacking, I went into work this morning running on fumes. It was my turn to make the morning coffee, so I made it high octane, much to the chagrin of my co-workers. Screw 'em...I needed the boost.

I got a message from my ex, but it went unanswered. Not because I didn't have the energy, but because what's the point? There's nothing for me to say. I just grit my teeth and went about my day.

Tonight, after a couple hours playing Halo, I succumbed to the realization that my new life is turning out pretty sad. So what do I do? I go online to write about how pathetic my life is. ugh...will I ever learn?

Now, I must retire to my twin bed (what a chick magnet that is), and get as much sleep as I can.

Post Numero Uno

Well, the cable internet is working, I've still got 90% of the apartment left to unpack, but that can wait. I managed to get the essentials unpacked first: toothbrush, TV, XBox, iMac, and a fresh change of clothes.

Here in about an hour, I will have been in this apartment officially 24 hours. A fresh start, you could say. Last week, I became a living cliche, having come home to find my fiancee in bed with some other guy. I made my presence known to them, then told the guy he should probably leave, which he did.

I know, you see it all the time in the movies, but in this case, there was no shouting, no "baby, please forgive me", just my fiancee knowing she was busted, and neither one of us saying a word as I packed a bag and went to a hotel.

The truth of the matter is, it has been over for some time. I've been thinking about getting out for some time, but was unsure how she felt. Well, now we know. That night, I checked into the hotel, ordered some Chinese take-out, drank half a bottle of Jaegermeister, and looked through the apartment listings.

Two days later, or five days ago today, I signed my lease, and started moving in. The only words my ex-fiancee (I'm still getting used to that term) and I have spoken to each other about has been about division of property. Who gets this, who gets that, etc. The only completely unresolved issue is: Who gets the ring? I know the rule is that whomever breaks the engagement, forfeits the ring. But in this case, I moved out, I broke it off, because she was cheating on me. Anybody out there have a ruling on this?

It's her house, and a lot of my stuff was jettisoned when I moved in, so packing up has been a snap. She even went to the trouble to pack a few boxes for me. I'm a bit surprised that they don't smell like lighter fluid.

I don't know whay I'm not feeling more hurt over all this. I guess I'm still numb. In a few days, it'll hit, I'm sure. As for right now, I've got to unpack, and I'm out of smokes.