Hang ups

Since I was gonna be in Fort Smith this weekend, I figured it would be a good thing to give Nicky a call and see if he wanted to catch luch while I'm in town this weekend. We ended up talking for a couple hours about what has happened since the last time I was in town a few weeks ago.

Grace has been asking Nicky about me, since she found out he and I have been in touch. She apparently has been acting all cool about the situation, but Nicky says she's just putting up a front. He tells me it's too soon for me to talk to her, that it's the same thing as when Jeff tried to talk his way back into the house after the first time he got physically abusive. She has a period of adjustment that has to take place where any decision is gonna be second-guessed later.

But wait a minute, it's been almost three weeks. How long is this period of adjustment gonna take? Besides, if she's as impressionable as Nicky is making her out to be, shouldn't this work in my favor? I just want her to know the truth about me, and not the jerk that jeff has always made me out to be...How could she possibly regret knowing the truth about me?

I asked Nicky for her number, and Nicky refused to give it to me. So, after I got off the phone with him, I called directory assistance.

I called her. It rang and rang, until voice mail picked up. It got through the outgoing message, then the beep, and I hung up. About an hour later, I felt like I should call her again, but decided against it. But, then again, if she's gonna second guess any decision during this time, being a stalker would be a good one for her to forget.

I keep feeling like I should call her. I should call her, but I really, really shouldn't. Dammit.