New Week, New Attitude

I started my day and my week with newfound vigor. I tackled my workload and finished up by 1:00. I spent the rest of my day cleaning and rearranging my office. I found that the attitude was contageous, and my boss and two other people took to rearranging their offices.

I stayed for about an hour after work to get a jump on tomorrow. Then it hit me, am I being proactive, or do I just want to be distracted from my personal that bad? I dropped what I was doing, and went out for something completely unhealthy at Metro Diner. After downing the three-way chili, a chocolate malt and about half a roll of Tums, I drove around for an hour or so before going home.

Cody the cat was glad to see me, of course, and even happier to see the dry cat food I poured for him. After the cat had his dinner, I let him in while I watched a movie. Blade Runner, one of my favorites. There was one line that I guess I never payed much attention to, but I found myself rewinding to hear it again and again. "The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and you have burned so very very brightly, Roy."

That got me to thinking about hope. I've had many instances in my life where I've lost hope, almost to the point of no return. It may seem like that at times nowadays, but something's keeping me going. Father Edward back home would tell me that God is testing me. While I appreciate the thought that I'm being tested, I can't help but think that I keep going simply to piss off those who put me down in the first place.

But then, I thought about that line, and maybe one day the light will burn out. I gotta stop thinking like that.

I haven't heard from Sid for a couple days. I should give him a call, but not tonight.