Good karma...sort of

Saturday morning I slept in too late, and almost missed out on lunch with Grace. As soon as I realized what late it was getting (11:30), I called her and thankfully, she was running late, too. We made plans to meet up for a quick bite to eat before she had to go to work.

We were unsure how to greet each other. I played it safe by offering a handshake, but she was going in for a hug. I switched to hug mode and she switched to handshake. We wound up doing both. We ordered our food and didn't talk too much after that. We had these weird silences. Not uncomfortable sliences, but those moments where you trail off, looking someone in the eyes, and just giggle and smile.

Is it wrong for me to want to ruin the mood by continuing to apologize for the Jeff incident? She seems like she's over it all, and that she understands that I'm not a violent person. It also seems like she sees the real me...the one who fell in love with her back in junior high...the one that would do anything to have her feel the same way all through high school. But the question remains, does she see the me that has regretted every day since I left, or the me that has compared every girlfriend from then to now to her?

There's so much I want to say to her, but I can't. We got through lunch, and I had a great time. We hugged for what seemed like forever, during which, I kissed her on the temple. That's about as far as it got. I told her I'd try to make it back next weekend, or maybe the weekend after that...I'm sure I sounded like a total schmuck.

I went back to Nana & Papa's house to see how they were doing; to check if they needed anything before I went back to Tulsa. Nana had a few things she needed some things from the supermarket. She offered to come along with me, but just then, Papa had himself a little accident...not entirely uncommon with prostate cancer. So, Nana presented me with a choice: Shopping or clean-up.

So, off the the supermarket I went. While in the checkout lane, I spotted some candies left behind on the shelf. They were these maple candies I remember Nana always had with her when I was a kid. Nana isn't supposed to have too many sweets, doctor's orders. However, these candies were sugar free.

Nana was surprised by the candies, even more so when I gave her all her money back, too. She protested and tried to give me the money back, but I refused. I felt like such the good grandson for buying them everything they needed for the week...until about half-way home when I realized that Nana had slipped the money into my coat pocket before I left.

Now I know where I get my need to have the final word. Thanks, Nana.